Sex knows no boundaries, am I right? From old-school vanilla to sub/dom and even swinging, I decided to delve deeper into the lesser-known areas.
I am pretty sure dating apps like Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel have become more common in Singapore these days, but apps such as Seeking Arrangements target a more niche audience where you can “date generous men & attractive women”. Curious to find out more?
To gain insight into this scene, I interviewed “Claire” (not her real name), who is no stranger to “sugar baby” offers.
Her most controversial offer: S$10,000 a month for sex only on the weekends.
You must be wondering about her physique and appearance — what would invite such an offer? During the short rendezvous I had with her, she was clad in a bright sundress accompanied by a sun hat. With a slim and fit figure complemented by a healthy tan, it’s no wonder she has suitors aplenty.
And that’s how it all started.
How did he approach you and the subject of matter?
“He emailed me, and I think he got my email address through my Instagram. He introduced himself and asked if I was interested to be a sugar baby. He was very “professional” and serious, telling me that I could ask him any questions I had about it. He was kind about it too, in a weirdly respectable way.”
“We exchanged some emails and I learnt from him that he was the owner of a business [and] that he was a trader. He explained that he wanted a companion for the time when he was in Singapore, [and] he would pay me S$10,000 a month for my time (and sex). I mentioned that he was professional and serious because he sent over an escrow form that he had his lawyer do up for him, assuring that I would be well taken care of by him.
That made the entire relationship seem a lot more legitimate than what it seemed to be. To further entice me, he proffered luxury items, dates fully paid by him, even trips overseas. The manner he pitched made me wanna say yes.”
Were you taken aback when you heard about it?
“At first I was just surprised because no one had emailed me about such a topic? [But] it’s not the first time that people have [had] such requests from me, so I wasn’t taken aback by it. [It] was just surprising that he was so nice about it and serious. [But] I guess that’s also because he had an ulterior motive.”
We’re curious… what did he look like?
“He was in his late 30s, and from his photos, he was pretty overweight. (He sent me a dick picture too and he was 6 inches…. heh)”
So what was your decision, and what made you decide so?
“At first I said yes because 10k a month was a damn luxury. We agreed to meet around Raffles Place near his car. However, I ditched it at the end. Meeting him meant sex and becoming just an object for someone else.”
“It meant that I would literally just be screwing someone so that I would have money, which I didn’t actually need. It would definitely make life easier, in the sense that I wouldn’t have to work part-time and I would be able to afford frivolous things. But having to f*ck an old fat man with a small penis, and also being someone who has a huge ego… I just couldn’t bring myself to.”
Having this conversation made me put myself in her shoes and left me in a bit of a quandary. In our current society, men aren’t really judged as much for sleeping around.
After thinking this through, if I was given the same offer (gender reversed), I think I would have snapped it up. As long as it’s at the very least tolerable (and I don’t end up puking after each session), I’m all ready to be on the cover of Forbes magazine!
Being treated and identified merely as an object isn’t something most guys would be familiar with, after all.
But then I imagined myself spending my final weekend of the month with the sugar mummy, after collecting the agreed compensation. Although I’d be able to splurge with abandon, I doubt I’d be able to sleep with complete peace of mind, and it would take some time to get used to.
At the end of the day, we all want to keep in line with our own values and principles. If you try to close an eye on your core values and carry on with your actions, who’s to say you won’t find yourself in conflict with your own mind?
With the rising popularity of such dating apps and sites, these kinds of situations might become more common. Let us know your opinion on the matter if you’ve had a similar experience!